Another classic G. George Ostrom column. This one George picked out from 1971...
This past week was pretty hectic. I spent a lot of time without corporate attorneys and subsequently brought in my personal lawyers for group analyzing of the of the prescribed method for procuring a license for my beat-up, second-hand snowmobile.
These professionals are still pondering, so I am confining the family recreation activity to slowly putt-putting around the clothesline post in our backyard.
I have a week’s vacation coming in January and the attorneys now feel this will give me adequate time to go through the necessary steps for getting the license…if the lines aren’t too long.
Because all four of my young’uns are now skiing, I have resumed my interest in that frigid activity, which was best described by the immortal sidewalk philosopher, Benny Bolton. Benny calls it “Jackpine Rodeo.”
With this renewed interest in the sport of my bachelor days, comes a revival of many idea I used to kick around in the Bierstube with other deep-thinking individuals. One of our best ideas was a special high-protein and dextrose ski wax which could be licked from the skis in case a feller got lost up there on the mountain. The name of this stuff was supposed to be “Yummy-Slick,” but it never got off the drawing board.
Another undeveloped idea was a dragchute that could be released when a skier went out of control when on collision course with such immovable objects as large trees and chalets. Our first working model was engineered to stop a 175-pound skier doing 60 miles per hour in a distance of 40 feet. Our test pilot pulled the ripcord 30 feet from the parking lot while doing 80 mph and is now the hood ornament on a 1954 Oldsmobile.
Another invention that went to pot was a special brand of “Yummy Slick” for downhill racers. We mixed in some Ex-Lax because we thought, one way or another, it would really make you go.